‘Christmas to move online’ says Santa
CEO of Christmas Inc Christopher Cringle has announced plans to cut costs by exploiting the cloud and taking advantage of social networking according to reports. Rumour began early this morning after Rudolph declared via Tweetdeck that he had ‘become obsolete’ and although Cringle has yet to confirm the speculation, his decision to ‘go green’ by banning handwritten Christmas lists is thought to be a sure sign of things to come.
Having earlier this year penned an agreement with Salesforce.com to track all Christmas customers online ‘Santa Claus’ is no stranger to Customer relationship management and the recent revelation that he only communicates with elves ‘through Facebook’ indicates that plans for a web based Christmas have been in place for some time. Cringle is likely to receive brandy and carrots through PayPal micropayments to Tesco deliveries and e-presents look set to replace the original packaged solution.
A spokesman for Christmas Inc said ‘in this time of deep recession we’re looking to cut outgoings and streamline our business model without putting elf and reindeer jobs in jeopardy. With sleigh tax increasing and health and safety officials looking to impose heavy regulation on fat men going head first down chimneys, we feel we are very much at a crossroads which needs to be addressed.
Cringle is expected to make an official statement at a press conference later today in which Christmas Inc has requested no journalist speculate on the closure of the North Pole Pension scheme.
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